No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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