But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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