I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
