dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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