Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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