You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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