we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
