I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
