I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
