you guys were way drunker than both of me
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
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if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
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Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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