i jhust puked up my retainher.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
