p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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