I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
