Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Randomize
