I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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