I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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