Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
