You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize