If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
