I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
