Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Found the puke drawer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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