my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
