This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
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DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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