Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize