Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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