Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
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It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
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Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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