is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
