I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
