It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
