Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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