Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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