There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
