Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
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well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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