I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
