I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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