I am midnight drunk by noon
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize