I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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