Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
