Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Randomize
