Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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