I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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