apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
