guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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