mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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