Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
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I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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