Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
