SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
