arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
