drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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