goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
