Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
