remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
