why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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