We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
