I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
