I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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